It’s been quite a while since I last posted here. A long while. But it’s good because Zed has been a lot better recently. He still has the odd meltdown, but it’s mostly OK.
Please feel free to post your own things here, (I think you should be able to). I’ll be happy to help and read about others, as I feel that I’m going to be posting a lot less…
Well it happened again. My theory about more things happening in the holidays seems to be correct, as it’s half term now. This is what happened today;
We where going out on a bike ride, and Zed had said before we went that he was tired. So we are cycling along, and he starts moaning about how much further we have to go. (We used to go walking and he would do the same things, and say how he hated walking. When we finally gave in, we decided instead of going walking we would go cycling, but now he just does the same things again.) anyway, eventually we arrived at the end, and before we turned around we sat down to have lunch. As it was quite cold, we decided to get some hot drinks. Zed decides not to get anything, but everyone else gets a drink. He then asks for an ice cream, but mum says ‘you have to eat at least one quarter more of your sand which. He eats all of it, except for one bite. He then refuses to eat anymore, as he had one bite in the car on the way here. He moans and moans, but eventually he says ‘fine then, I’ll eat your sandwhich he takes the one bite left over and throws the rest at dad. He then shouts and says ‘you’re definitely not getting an ice cream now!’ Zed starts crying and eventually says sorry. This is a big improvement, him saying sorry without being prompted. So dad makes sure he recognised that Zed says sorry and buys us all an ice cream.
Well, it’s been a couple of days since Zed had a meltdown so I’ve decided to post some things that I have found can help to stop meltdowns:
- First, if they seem to be getting angry, I try to let him have more control over what we are doing.
- Be sympathetic and don’t forget that he finds it hard to think about other people’s views on things.
- Make sure that you are not being to bossy.
- Give him plenty of warning when you are planning to do things, like say if you are going to want to do something alone or go out, and suchlike.
Those tend to help with Zed, so hopefully they should help anyone else who has the same problems as me.
Also, if you are a child I have found this good website for talking to other kids who have PDA or have brothers and sisters who have PDA: http://www.pdakids.org/
Well, it happened. His daily kick-off happened this time like this:
As he often does, Zed pretends to hurt himself, this time in his hand. Usually I fall for it but this time I could see him smiling behind his fake complaining. So I say ‘No, he’s pretending’ and he giggles a bit. But eventually he realizes that I am not going to fall for it this time. He then starts getting very angry and starts crying saying ‘I was hurt’ ‘He laughed at me!’ Mum and Dad both know he is lying, and that he wants to try and stay in control, (one of the symptoms of PDA) but he insists that he really is hurt. When he realizes that Mum and Dad aren’t going to fall for his fake crying, he then chases after me and kicks me bloody hard in the shins, and then pretends to laugh and says ‘he’s just pretending’. I have to try really hard not to beat the shit out of him but luckily I manage to stay in control. Dad then loses it and smacks Zed. Mum then tries calmly to explain to him, that, first of all, if you are hurt, not to look like you are laughing about it, and secondly, not to pretend you’re hurt, because then when you actually are hurt, no-one will believe you. But as usual, he refuses to listen, and keeps repeating over and over again; ‘But I waaas hurt’ ‘I was!’ Eventually he storms off and slowly stews himself. He then spends about half an hour in a grumpy mood, but eventually comes out of it.
What is so frustrating about this is that Zed refuses to listen to anything we are trying to say when he is in a bad mood, whether it’s covering his ears, or repeating something over and over so he drowns us out, it makes no difference. He cannot see somebody else’s side. To him, we all think exactly the same as him, and have his opinions. We cannot have our own thoughts separate from his own. And he wonders why me and Bod often don’t want to play with him.
This is just basically saying that I will be posting, generally when my younger brother (11) who I am going to call Zed, does ‘something’. So generally a few of times a week, maybe even everyday. I am 13, and I also have a younger, younger brother (6) who I am going to call Bod.