Well, it’s been a couple of days since Zed had a meltdown so I’ve decided to post some things that I have found can help to stop meltdowns:
- First, if they seem to be getting angry, I try to let him have more control over what we are doing.
- Be sympathetic and don’t forget that he finds it hard to think about other people’s views on things.
- Make sure that you are not being to bossy.
- Give him plenty of warning when you are planning to do things, like say if you are going to want to do something alone or go out, and suchlike.
Those tend to help with Zed, so hopefully they should help anyone else who has the same problems as me.
Also, if you are a child I have found this good website for talking to other kids who have PDA or have brothers and sisters who have PDA: http://www.pdakids.org/
Well, it happened. His daily kick-off happened this time like this:
As he often does, Zed pretends to hurt himself, this time in his hand. Usually I fall for it but this time I could see him smiling behind his fake complaining. So I say ‘No, he’s pretending’ and he giggles a bit. But eventually he realizes that I am not going to fall for it this time. He then starts getting very angry and starts crying saying ‘I was hurt’ ‘He laughed at me!’ Mum and Dad both know he is lying, and that he wants to try and stay in control, (one of the symptoms of PDA) but he insists that he really is hurt. When he realizes that Mum and Dad aren’t going to fall for his fake crying, he then chases after me and kicks me bloody hard in the shins, and then pretends to laugh and says ‘he’s just pretending’. I have to try really hard not to beat the shit out of him but luckily I manage to stay in control. Dad then loses it and smacks Zed. Mum then tries calmly to explain to him, that, first of all, if you are hurt, not to look like you are laughing about it, and secondly, not to pretend you’re hurt, because then when you actually are hurt, no-one will believe you. But as usual, he refuses to listen, and keeps repeating over and over again; ‘But I waaas hurt’ ‘I was!’ Eventually he storms off and slowly stews himself. He then spends about half an hour in a grumpy mood, but eventually comes out of it.
What is so frustrating about this is that Zed refuses to listen to anything we are trying to say when he is in a bad mood, whether it’s covering his ears, or repeating something over and over so he drowns us out, it makes no difference. He cannot see somebody else’s side. To him, we all think exactly the same as him, and have his opinions. We cannot have our own thoughts separate from his own. And he wonders why me and Bod often don’t want to play with him.
This is just basically saying that I will be posting, generally when my younger brother (11) who I am going to call Zed, does ‘something’. So generally a few of times a week, maybe even everyday. I am 13, and I also have a younger, younger brother (6) who I am going to call Bod.