Pretending to be hurt

Well, it happened. His daily kick-off happened this time like this:

As he often does, Zed pretends to hurt himself, this time in his hand. Usually I fall for it but this time I could see him smiling behind his fake complaining. So I say ‘No, he’s pretending’ and he giggles a bit. But eventually he realizes that I am not going to fall for it this time. He then starts getting very angry and starts crying saying ‘I was hurt’ ‘He laughed at me!’ Mum and Dad both know he is lying, and that he wants to try and stay in control, (one of the symptoms of PDA) but he insists that he really is hurt. When he realizes that Mum and Dad aren’t going to fall for his fake crying, he then chases after me and kicks me bloody hard in the shins, and then pretends to laugh and says ‘he’s just  pretending’.  I have to try really hard not to beat the shit out of him but luckily I manage to stay in control. Dad then loses it and smacks Zed. Mum then tries calmly to explain to him, that, first of all, if you are hurt, not to look like you are laughing about it, and secondly, not to pretend you’re hurt, because then when you actually are hurt, no-one will believe you. But as usual, he refuses to listen, and keeps repeating over and over again; ‘But I waaas hurt’ ‘I was!’ Eventually he storms off and slowly stews himself. He then spends about half an hour in a grumpy mood, but eventually comes out of it.

What is so frustrating about this is that Zed refuses to listen to anything we are trying to say when he is in a bad mood, whether it’s covering his ears, or repeating something over and over so he drowns us out, it makes no difference. He cannot see somebody else’s side. To him, we all think exactly the same as him, and have his opinions. We cannot have our own thoughts separate from his own. And he wonders why me and Bod often don’t want to play with him.


2 responses to “Pretending to be hurt”

  1. StephsTwoGirls says :

    I think you’re right that there’s not much point trying to explain or talk once he is already in that bad mood. Maybe you could try and wait until much later, or the next day, and talk to him about it then? I know that’s difficult once things have moved on, but sometimes it sinks in more. It’s all about picking your moments – and trying to stay calm, which I know is very difficult when someone is being extremely infuriating! Hope this blog and writing it all helps you.

  2. truth says :

    I am looking forward very much to reading more about zed and how you and bod cope with that. I am a parent with my own girl-zed (same age), and my own girl-bod (same age), but I don’t have a generalfish, I have a wee man who’s 3. Thank you for sharing.

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